Definitely Last Post

SO this will be my last post on this blog I think. I think that it was a lifesaver having this blog as I got my emotions out there instead of them being stuck in me. I think that I will print them out for the kids to read when they get older to see what I went through... but then again maybe I will not show them. I don't really want them to think that their entry into the world caused so much pain and anxiety as they were both so totally wanted.
It is interesting thinking of what life is now like. Lucas is 3 months old... almost 4 and it has been HARD HARD HARD work. There was no way that I could ever prepare myself for how much hard work it is. I think that I kind of had in my head that we had such a hard time with Molly that we would get an "easy" baby and that has really not been the case. Lucas had reflux... well still has and it was HORRIBLE. He ate all the time ( still does) and needed to be in a sling all day and when it was really bad, rocked all day. Not so much fun when you have a toddler at your feet wondering what this new thing in the house was and why mummy was so grumpy.
Lucas is not much of a sleeper which is fine as you can just tell that he is wanting to see what the world is about. Molly was the same and I love that about her personality. But it makes for long and tiresome days... especially when he likes to take long drinks at night. Thank god for co-sharing. I don't think that I would get a minutes sleep otherwise.
I think back to the pregnancy and preeclampsia and I think that this is a chapter that I can close in my life. I am really thankful that I have 2 kids as I don't have to do it again... I feel for the women who have lost their first child and want more than 1 child. I am very lucky. After I had Molly all I could think of was will it happen again.... how will I cope if it does??? Now that I know there is a peace in my head about what happened. I am not sure if I wrote this in the last blog but there is a roundness to Molly's birth. They were both equal and special in such a different way.
I am so thankful that I got to have a natural birth and that I did the pregnancy my way.... stopped aspirin at 23 weeks, had midwifery followup. I think that if I had not done things the way that I wanted and it had been a different outcome I would always wonder.
So I had better go and get to the boy who needs to get to sleep.... and the walking is about to start....

Thanks to all who read this. It did mean a lot, even though I really thought that no one would. Here is a photo of our wonderful midwife, moments after Lucas was born. I like she and John are slightly behind me.... showing that they had my back, as I really feel that they did ( and for John he still does). WE DID IT. YAY.