Last week we went to Adelaide. 1- to get Molly's belly button hernia repaired and 2 to see an ob to get a second opinion about if we should be doing anything differently in this pregnancy.
The repair of Molly's hernia was pretty horrible. She is such a trooper and takes things on the chin (she has had such a lot of things to take on the chin) but it was really hard to watch her go through yet another thing. She had a wee pre-med before the surgery and it was kind of funny as she looked drunk. She was in fits of laugher in the pre op as a helium balloon was touching the ceiling. It was a bit of a different story afterwards. I was lying on her bed and I said to John " I think that it is her coming" as you could hear her crying as she was brought down the corridor ( from quite a way away). It was horrible for her.
She just could not settle and was kicking and crying and we all felt so helpless. Finally we were able to get her to sleep and when she woke up a while later she was back to herself but in a bit of pain. This time was a bit different for me as I had John and Mum there. Usually it is just me there which is ok, you just get down to business but with 3 and her being so distressed I think that we all felt surplus. I have my fingers and toes crossed that we do not have to go through anything again for a very long time. For Molly. I really do think that she has been through enough!!!
For the second reason we saw the Dr and he was a bit condescending to start off with. Starting going on that we should think of the glass as half full not half empty and that nothing might happen this pregnancy. He totally did not get it. So we stuck at it and finally he gave us some figures that we need to keep in mind. Said that if my Bp goes up by 15 points systolically or diastolically then it is to get re-checked again that day and if it is still up then again the next day. He talked us through protein in the pee and what that would mean at each stage and what it would mean if there was no protein in the pee but an elevated bp. Said that we would not be getting any different service in a metro area and both John and I came away thinking that we were actually getting better service where we are. Our midwife is great and is very respectful to what we are going through and the choices that we make. This guy was almost at bullying stage at the end of the consult for me to go and get a gestational diabetes test done. John and I were like... our daughter is about to have surgery.... give us a freaking break.
Anyway my head is a lot calmer this week. I never thought that I would say (and I am slightly nervous to say) but I am kind of over it. I just want to lie on my stomach at night, and not to worry about things however slightly or consumingly and to meet the wee fella. I really hope that we make it to 37 weeks and I hope that the next weeks go really fast. I am ready for the next stage (which I am sure will be less sleep or no sleep and chaos!!!)
Thoughts going out to neonate and high risk pregnancy women.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Dummy Run
Last week was quite full on.
I had some pain which to me was the same that I had when Molly was born. So I did the appropriate thing and did nothing for a couple of days, then it got to much and I rang the unit. They said that it needed to be checked out so I got a friend to mind Molly and went to the unit (I find that having Molly at the appointments makes it SO stressful). They basically gave me the run around. Said that my obs were good and as the pain was on the left side then I should go and see my G.P. It was really annoying that my midwife was not there and it seems that if she is not there then the care is going to be dodgy!!!!
I had told them that when I had hellp that the pain was on the left side... Who knows why, pressure from my liver on other organs is the only thing that I can think of.
So that got us worried. Are we doing the right thing by being here? There was such a discussion when we were thinking of getting pregnant. Do we stay here? Do we wait longer? Do we do this at all?? We are SO happy with our midwife. She is great but am are worried as she cannot be there 24/7 for us just incase something happens. hhhhmmmm
I went and saw her last night and she had obviously had some mention of what had happened as the first thing that she said was "what is your version of event?". The thing I stressed and that she got was that I do not seek out help easily. I went to work the day that Molly was born thinking that everything was ok....
Anyway I did end up going to see the G.P. I was not going to but the anxiety got the better of me and it was just intercostal pain. I think that we have a bit of a big baby getting grown!!!
I think that our plan will be that if my midwife is not available then we will head to the G.P. They are lovely. I am not going to go to a place that does not take my concerns seriously.
So the figures from last night are ok but not that great. BP had to be done twice. First read 128/90 then 10 minutes later it was 137/84. At least the diastolic came down. These are pretty high numbers for me. I usually sit around 110/60 so am trying really hard not to get too anxious about it. I am glad that I do not have a bp cuff here as I would be checking it every 5 minutes which I think would be worse. I am hoping that this stays stable. My midwife thinks that it is ok as I had these figures at the beginning. Might just be my pregnant bp. It is funny with anxiety. I have been checking out the pre-eclampsia website heaps which is really cool. Nice to find people that have been through the same thing. You can see the anxiety jumping off the page with some women's blogs and it is funny because I will think "man you just need to do this, and RELAX" and then I think hang on that was me a day ago. It is SO hard to divorce yourself from the anxiety when you get triggered. Maybe this is my lesson from this pregnancy. To be honest, I don't care at the moment. I just want to make it to 32 weeks and then 35. PLEASE!!!! But I keep telling myself that I have no control over this and what happens will happen. Sometimes easier said than done!!!!!
My mum is coming tomorrow and I am really excited about it. I think that this may have a dramatic effect on the outcome of my pregnancy. I can rest as much as I can. YAY.
Anyway take care. Better go and get Molly.
Thinking of all the neonates and hoping that we are not going to join them soon.
I had some pain which to me was the same that I had when Molly was born. So I did the appropriate thing and did nothing for a couple of days, then it got to much and I rang the unit. They said that it needed to be checked out so I got a friend to mind Molly and went to the unit (I find that having Molly at the appointments makes it SO stressful). They basically gave me the run around. Said that my obs were good and as the pain was on the left side then I should go and see my G.P. It was really annoying that my midwife was not there and it seems that if she is not there then the care is going to be dodgy!!!!
I had told them that when I had hellp that the pain was on the left side... Who knows why, pressure from my liver on other organs is the only thing that I can think of.
So that got us worried. Are we doing the right thing by being here? There was such a discussion when we were thinking of getting pregnant. Do we stay here? Do we wait longer? Do we do this at all?? We are SO happy with our midwife. She is great but am are worried as she cannot be there 24/7 for us just incase something happens. hhhhmmmm
I went and saw her last night and she had obviously had some mention of what had happened as the first thing that she said was "what is your version of event?". The thing I stressed and that she got was that I do not seek out help easily. I went to work the day that Molly was born thinking that everything was ok....
Anyway I did end up going to see the G.P. I was not going to but the anxiety got the better of me and it was just intercostal pain. I think that we have a bit of a big baby getting grown!!!
I think that our plan will be that if my midwife is not available then we will head to the G.P. They are lovely. I am not going to go to a place that does not take my concerns seriously.
So the figures from last night are ok but not that great. BP had to be done twice. First read 128/90 then 10 minutes later it was 137/84. At least the diastolic came down. These are pretty high numbers for me. I usually sit around 110/60 so am trying really hard not to get too anxious about it. I am glad that I do not have a bp cuff here as I would be checking it every 5 minutes which I think would be worse. I am hoping that this stays stable. My midwife thinks that it is ok as I had these figures at the beginning. Might just be my pregnant bp. It is funny with anxiety. I have been checking out the pre-eclampsia website heaps which is really cool. Nice to find people that have been through the same thing. You can see the anxiety jumping off the page with some women's blogs and it is funny because I will think "man you just need to do this, and RELAX" and then I think hang on that was me a day ago. It is SO hard to divorce yourself from the anxiety when you get triggered. Maybe this is my lesson from this pregnancy. To be honest, I don't care at the moment. I just want to make it to 32 weeks and then 35. PLEASE!!!! But I keep telling myself that I have no control over this and what happens will happen. Sometimes easier said than done!!!!!
My mum is coming tomorrow and I am really excited about it. I think that this may have a dramatic effect on the outcome of my pregnancy. I can rest as much as I can. YAY.
Anyway take care. Better go and get Molly.
Thinking of all the neonates and hoping that we are not going to join them soon.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Did lose it slightly
So after writing that I was all zen and that I was not going to worry about what was going to happen with this pregnancy, I promptly went off and started to worry. In fact I got myself all worked up. It was one of those occasions when it just seemed to get out of my grasp.
I went and borrowed a bp cuff from my friend and was measuring my bp constantly for a bit and then worrying when the numbers came back the same. I got really fixated on the numbers....
I am sure that if this was happening to a friend of mine when I would be saying whoa back girl. It is all looking pretty good. But I could not step back from myself and do this.
The negative and the positive parts of my brain were really going for it. I would try and think positively and then whammo there would be a negative thought come in and I would be off again. I don't think that there seemed to be a point to the worry and so I asked myself many times.... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??
And then I started to try and look at things that were good in my life so that every time I thought of something negative, I would think of something good. It might be that the trees look pretty, that Molly is totally cool, that I have the perfect husband and slowly the positive took over.
I also thought that there are aspects that I need to get control over so that if I am in a situation where I feel that I have no control then I have control over the bits that I can. I cannot control if I have a prem but I can be more involved and have control over other aspects of my care than I was with Molly. Namely the first 24 hours post birth. So I have written a plan that I will print out and keep in my wallet so that if the worst should occur then I know I have thought about the stuff that I want to happen and can just give the paper to the carers. Then I feel like I have got some control in a situation that I have no control over.
Sorted.
I have been following a woman's blog that had hellp at 28 weeks with her first child and she is about to have her second child. I am SO excited for her. I do not even know her and will probably never meet her but it is SO amazing to see someone go on and have a term baby, especially when she had hellp worse than me. YEAH!!!! I felt like jumping up and down and the thought that she had made it. Hopefully it will be us next!!!!
Take care
xx
I went and borrowed a bp cuff from my friend and was measuring my bp constantly for a bit and then worrying when the numbers came back the same. I got really fixated on the numbers....
I am sure that if this was happening to a friend of mine when I would be saying whoa back girl. It is all looking pretty good. But I could not step back from myself and do this.
The negative and the positive parts of my brain were really going for it. I would try and think positively and then whammo there would be a negative thought come in and I would be off again. I don't think that there seemed to be a point to the worry and so I asked myself many times.... WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??
And then I started to try and look at things that were good in my life so that every time I thought of something negative, I would think of something good. It might be that the trees look pretty, that Molly is totally cool, that I have the perfect husband and slowly the positive took over.
I also thought that there are aspects that I need to get control over so that if I am in a situation where I feel that I have no control then I have control over the bits that I can. I cannot control if I have a prem but I can be more involved and have control over other aspects of my care than I was with Molly. Namely the first 24 hours post birth. So I have written a plan that I will print out and keep in my wallet so that if the worst should occur then I know I have thought about the stuff that I want to happen and can just give the paper to the carers. Then I feel like I have got some control in a situation that I have no control over.
Sorted.
I have been following a woman's blog that had hellp at 28 weeks with her first child and she is about to have her second child. I am SO excited for her. I do not even know her and will probably never meet her but it is SO amazing to see someone go on and have a term baby, especially when she had hellp worse than me. YEAH!!!! I felt like jumping up and down and the thought that she had made it. Hopefully it will be us next!!!!
Take care
xx
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