Dummy Run

Last week was quite full on.
I had some pain which to me was the same that I had when Molly was born. So I did the appropriate thing and did nothing for a couple of days, then it got to much and I rang the unit. They said that it needed to be checked out so I got a friend to mind Molly and went to the unit (I find that having Molly at the appointments makes it SO stressful). They basically gave me the run around. Said that my obs were good and as the pain was on the left side then I should go and see my G.P. It was really annoying that my midwife was not there and it seems that if she is not there then the care is going to be dodgy!!!!

I had told them that when I had hellp that the pain was on the left side... Who knows why, pressure from my liver on other organs is the only thing that I can think of.

So that got us worried. Are we doing the right thing by being here? There was such a discussion when we were thinking of getting pregnant. Do we stay here? Do we wait longer? Do we do this at all?? We are SO happy with our midwife. She is great but am are worried as she cannot be there 24/7 for us just incase something happens. hhhhmmmm

I went and saw her last night and she had obviously had some mention of what had happened as the first thing that she said was "what is your version of event?". The thing I stressed and that she got was that I do not seek out help easily. I went to work the day that Molly was born thinking that everything was ok....

Anyway I did end up going to see the G.P. I was not going to but the anxiety got the better of me and it was just intercostal pain. I think that we have a bit of a big baby getting grown!!!
I think that our plan will be that if my midwife is not available then we will head to the G.P. They are lovely. I am not going to go to a place that does not take my concerns seriously.

So the figures from last night are ok but not that great. BP had to be done twice. First read 128/90 then 10 minutes later it was 137/84. At least the diastolic came down. These are pretty high numbers for me. I usually sit around 110/60 so am trying really hard not to get too anxious about it. I am glad that I do not have a bp cuff here as I would be checking it every 5 minutes which I think would be worse. I am hoping that this stays stable. My midwife thinks that it is ok as I had these figures at the beginning. Might just be my pregnant bp. It is funny with anxiety. I have been checking out the pre-eclampsia website heaps which is really cool. Nice to find people that have been through the same thing. You can see the anxiety jumping off the page with some women's blogs and it is funny because I will think "man you just need to do this, and RELAX" and then I think hang on that was me a day ago. It is SO hard to divorce yourself from the anxiety when you get triggered. Maybe this is my lesson from this pregnancy. To be honest, I don't care at the moment. I just want to make it to 32 weeks and then 35. PLEASE!!!! But I keep telling myself that I have no control over this and what happens will happen. Sometimes easier said than done!!!!!
My mum is coming tomorrow and I am really excited about it. I think that this may have a dramatic effect on the outcome of my pregnancy. I can rest as much as I can. YAY.
Anyway take care. Better go and get Molly.
Thinking of all the neonates and hoping that we are not going to join them soon.