Molly had a cold so that meant less sleep and more stress. Always fun when you are sleeping on the floor in the lounge but that is ok. It was totally worth it.
It made me think of support. We live in a small town where there we have a few mates that we hang out with, and most of them are in the same situation that we are in... namely a long way from home. I see my one mate that lives here that has her family and not that parenting is easier but that there is that "you can drop the kid round at a moments notice if you are going round the twist" or at least have a cup of tea with people that you feel totally at ease with which is something that I really miss and tried to soak up over the weekend.
Thinking back to when Molly was born we were at home and it seemed so much more logical to come to this environment that it was to stay in the one that we were in. John's job turned out to be a complete fizzer and the support that we thought that we were going to get did not end up coming. Maybe that was because we started in a town that was not close to my family. I think that my family are so used to crises that they just get down to business and do what needed to be done. For us at the time it was food, cleaning and walking the dog. John's family have not been through any major crises. They have had people die which is always sad but they have been at the end of their lives. I am not that sure that they knew what to do how to help and we did not know how to ask, so it turned into a situation that we felt supported from afar but not from close.
It is funny how family dynamics are different. In my family we just let rip with what we think needs to be said and I love this about my family. You know where you stand. In John's family they don't really talk about lots at all. Feelings don't come up that much and I think that people in John's family kind of don't really want to look at what we really went through.... not sure why but they seem not that keen to talk about it when it was probably the biggest event that has happened to both of us. For me I cannot imagine not supporting a family member that was going through such hardship. I think that John was pretty heart broken to not get that support from his family.
But that is in the past and we are here now. John and I are stronger for it and that is great. We have learnt that we can deal with so much and that when we can contain the anxiety leading up to the event then we will totally have it sorted. At the moment we are slightly worried about what may happen but today is all good... if that makes sense.
Went and saw my midwife today and it was totally ok. She is great and totally gets it. I am going to see her again in 2 weeks. She did not remember that the dr had ordered to see me the dr every month and I did not remind her, as the next appt should be with them. It is just nice to see someone familiar. We got back our results for downs and genetic disabilities and they are all low. Was not going to do anything about them even if it came back high.
So better head on. My family got me addicted to bejeweled blitz when away which I am going to try and have a few games whilst Molly is asleep.
Thoughts to neonate parents.
No comments:
Post a Comment