It has been a few days since I have been on and they have been HOT. Man I cannot wait until this weather calms down and we are in winter again. I don't know how I would live without air con which sounds really bad.... bad for my footprint but a girl has got to sleep.
We went away for a night which was really nice. Good to get away and recharge the batteries!!!
The bleeding is still continuing. God knows why. I have been bleeding on an off since week 5. They did a scan in week 6 and the fetus is growing great guns. I have heard of some women that have bled for all of their pregnancy which must be a bit scary. I am hoping that I am not one of them.
When you have had a preterm I have found that there is no such thing as normal.
It was interesting when I got pregnant as I really thought that I had Molly's birth sorted out. Well as much as you can. At least let it sink into the back ground somewhat and I am totally surprised about the level of emotions that are coming up now that I am pregnant again. I know that this is totally normal and I have never been one of those people that can just sweep emotions under the carpet but some of the worry is pretty full on. I still get the "man that is not fair" when I meet women that are past 32 weeks. I really hope that we go full term but I really am not sure. It is such a long way away. I am trying to take each day as it comes but it is hard not to look into the future and wonder at times. And I feel that for us we have to plan so much more than others. What happens if we have a prem??? What happens to our family when we are in the hospital? How do we survive? When it was just me and John it was not so bad. Now we would have to consider the care of a toddler as well.
Anyway I am really getting ahead of myself. But it is not just like others where they can be pretty sure that when they get to 12 weeks that is the most stressful bit over.
I started counseling about a year ago and that is so good... but my counsellor is about to go on maternity leave in a month. I am not sure what to do. I thought that I would be ok as I am not really wanting to start again with another counsellor but then some times I do find it hard to cope. I suppose this will be another thing that will sort itself out.
So I leave this post and all posts from now on thinking of the parents that are looking after their babies in neonates. It is a bloody hard place to be.
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